


red

by ayanamienby



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Character Study, No Dialogue, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29283612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayanamienby/pseuds/ayanamienby
Summary: Red is your least favorite color. To you, it used to mean power. Used to mean being respected, used to mean courage, passion, and now, just blood. Spilled blood and frustration and the sea of everyone you once knew.Asuka hates her life. She hates Shinji.Takes place during the tv show to after End of Evangelion.
Kudos: 8





	red

**Author's Note:**

> started writing this as a vent paragraph, somehow became about asuka, bon appetite
> 
> this is just me projecting onto asuka asf!

You are a machine.

You're cocky and proud and arrogant, but you are a machine. You do what you’re supposed to, most of the time, and you don't let your guard down.

You never let your guard down.

If you feel too much emotion, others will catch on. you'll bring everyone down and they'll resent you for it. Worse, you'd be seen as weak. You can't afford that. You're not weak. You're not like him, you don't whine and cry and refuse your responsibilities.

And it's not fair that he's "better" than you. You've worked at this for so long and suddenly he's "better" than you. That can't be true.

Suddenly you're "not fit". Suddenly he's got someone who loves him.

Who do you have?

No one.

You resent him, and everything he does. You don't have him. He thinks he has you, sometimes, but when his hands are around your neck it tells a different story.

You wish you had your mom. You wish she weren't dead; you wish she wasn't once so ill she didn't recognize her own daughter.

You cry yourself to sleep. Not like anyone will know or care, the walls are thick, and he never gave a shit about your problems anyways.

You swore you wouldn’t be lonely. Look at you now. Pathetic.

Asuka Langely Soryu. The talented pilot of Unit 02. What a joke.

Red is your least favorite color. To you, it used to mean power. Used to mean being respected, used to mean courage, passion, and now, just blood. Spilled blood and frustration and the sea of everyone you once knew.

You wish he would finish what he started. You wish you could tell him “no” once more and he’d crush your windpipe for good.

But he won’t, because he’s unpredictable and stupid and won’t leave you alone.

You don’t want to die. You mustn’t die. But sometimes, you wish you could.


End file.
